As some of you may or may not know, my wife and I have been caring for her father for quite a few years now. When we first moved back out to Osteen from Orlando in the late 90′s, he was actually helping us out much more than we were helping him. Conrad’s always been the type of guy that would give you the shirt off his back if you asked for it. And although it felt good to know we were keeping him company after her Mom had passed away, it was initially his giving nature and quiet fortitude that really helped and inspired us in a time of need. But as time has gone on over the past decade plus.. our roles started to reverse and fittingly enough we ended up needing to be there for him in the final years of his life her on earth. That is what family is for though right?
So when Dana’s Dad had a stroke 7 or 8 years ago, our care for him became much more in depth and crucial to keeping him out of the VA hospital and/or a nursing home. And then as Conrad’s health slowly deteriorated more and more, the past few years in particular have been some of the toughest of our lives . In the mid 00′s Conrad developed Alzheimer’s disease which in turn affected his memory, and more importantly, his ability to care for himself in almost any capacity. On top of that and even though we got him to quit shortly after having the stroke, 50+ years of smoking cigarettes had already taken their toll on ol’ Conrad’s lungs. Emphysema & COPD (Cardiopulmonary Disease) made it increasingly difficult for him to breathe properly w/o oxygen machines, a nebulizer, and medications.
So finally this past Tuesday/Jan. 26th, 2010 and after a brave, arduous, and dignified battle.. Conrad’s body finally gave up the ghost and he ascended to another plain of existence from here at his home in Osteen, FL. Fortunately it was a calm, peaceful, and relatively painless passing. Through out all the time I’ve known Conrad and even in his most painful states, he never complained once, and I consider him to be one of the bravest, most noble people I have ever had the honor of knowing.
As tough as it’s been on Dana and I in every imaginable way, we’re trying our best to stay positive and dwell on the good times we had rather than the struggles. To concentrate on the benefits of it all rather than the negative aspects. We’re earnestly trying to look & learn from the experiences we had caring for her ailing elder parent in his final years as a gift rather than a curse, as some might. After all, it’s getting through the tough stuff n’ difficulties in our lives with dignity intact that builds character in a person. The cake work and walks in the park don’t teach us near as much as the trials and tribulations do.
So what has this experience and in turn Conrad taught us?.. Well, we’ve definitely learned what unconditional love truly means. We’ve learned the importance and reward of putting others before ourselves. We’ve learned that life is short, even if you grow to be old. We’ve learned to be thankful for what we have, instead of resenting what we don’t get. We’ve learned that to receive you have to give. We’ve learned that living a life of honor, dignity, respect, sacrifice, gratitude, compassion, and purpose is more valuable in the long run than any thing that you can put a price tag on.
Conrad taught us this. He was our teacher, our father, and our friend. While we mourn his passing and our loss, we celebrate his life and his genuine and giving spirit. We recommit ourselves to living our lives in a way that would make him proud. We shall honor his life and sacrifices by living our lives to the best of our abilities with nothing but gratitude and respect for the man we affectionately knew and loved as: “Pops’”, “Poppie-Cop”, “Cornbread”, “Con-man”, “Buster Brown”, “Daddy, and quite simply – Dad.
Conrad we will dearly miss you but most assuredly never ever forget you. Travel well. Be in peace, and be in light. See you in the stars and give our love to Carolyn, Winifred, and to all the ancestors.
Love Always – Matthew and Dana
PS – To see some photos of Conrad’s life over the years, please click – *HERE
Gar and Dana,
I am amazed at the commitment, love, and care you offered Conrad. The gift you gave him few people get to experience.
Gar- you have always had a way with words . What a great sendoff for Conrad. He will be missed . Stay strong for Dana and yrself.
Those are some great photos. Conrad was truly an awesome guy.
Taking care of Conrad was the greatest act of compassion I have ever witnessed. I try to picture the opposite scenario, and it scares me to think that so many elderly die alone without a familiar face around. When you get to a certain point, all you care about is seeing that familiar face in the morning. Conrad might have woken up every morning confused in the last few years, but all of that subsided when he saw you, Dana, or the dogs. It had to have been the ultimate relief for him to not be scared. Being that Conrad was so resilient, the last years would have been terrible for him without you guys around.
Dana is the definition of selflessness, and now that Conrad has passed, I hope she does a few selfish things (she deserves it). Being an atheist makes it even more remarkable. There is probably no reward in the afterlife, and that is why most people do good things, for some hope of long term reward. Dana did them just because she is good person, and asked for nothing in return.
You guys already had my respect, but you increased it tenfold.
I hope I am wrong about the afterlife, and that Conrad and Bunny are sitting in a chair somewhere right now.